BSB, an origin story (nsfw)

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Prologue

Therapist: “Why are you here again today?”

BSB: “I am not sure. I thought I was ready to talk, though when I came through the door, I realized maybe I am not.”

Therapist: “What do you think is stopping you from talking?”

BSB: After a long, drawn-out inhale of a cigarette. “I don’t know where to start, it’s not clear in my own head, with everything that happened.”

Therapist: “How about we start somewhere else, start from somewhere unrelated? Why don’t you tell me about the last time you remember feeling happy?”

Chapter 1

Once upon a time, in the cozy corner of a whimsical nursery, lived a stuffed animal named Mr. Bunny. He was a fluffy, round, and rather distinguished-looking bunny. Mr. Bunny had been given the crucial task of safeguarding little Oryn, the newborn human in his charge.

The first few days on the job were relatively uneventful for Mr. Bunny. He spent most of his time lounging on the windowsill, admiring the passing clouds and daydreaming about life beyond the nursery. But soon enough, he discovered that his duties were not as simple as they seemed.

One fateful day, as he was trying to nap during the baby’s afternoon slumber, Mr. Bunny’s ears perked up at the sound of Oryn’s cries. He quickly realized that his life as a stuffed animal was about to get a lot more challenging. As he scrambled off the windowsill, he found himself catapulted into the world of diaper changes, 2 a.m. feedings, and endless loads of laundry.

As the days passed, Mr. Bunny began to notice something peculiar: a strange, omnipresent smell that seemed to follow him around the nursery. It was then that he recognized the true adversary he would be facing: baby poop.

Oryn’s newfound interest in chewing and drooling on everything in sight, was the least of Mr. Bunny’s problems. Oryn’s real party trick was to grab Mr. Bunny and subject him to a 10 minute, all you can eat ball sack and butt massage, face first. Mr. Bunny found himself in a perpetual state of dampness. He tried hiding behind other stuffed animals, but Oryn’s massage-seeking radar seemed to find him every time. He even tried seeking refuge on top of the dresser, but his short bunny legs did not grant him the agility necessary for such a daring escape.

One day Oryn’s tall people came into the nursery with a friend, much to Mr. Bunny’s shock the friend scooped him up and started to shower him with kisses, squealing with delight to Oryn about how cute the bunny was.

“I wouldn’t do that” one of the tall people started to explain, “there is a reason we call him BSB now.”

The friend was not listening and continued the kissalanche, lost in the moment with Oryn and Mr. Bunny. “Sorry, what did you say?” asked the friend.

“Nothing, never mind.” the tall person replied, clearly trying not to laugh at this stage.

The final straw came one afternoon when Mr. Bunny’s once luxurious fur became encrusted with dried poop, rendering him stiff and crunchy to the touch. It was then that he knew something had to change.

Driven by the need for self-preservation, Mr. Bunny devised a plan. He managed to snag a few baby socks during the chaos of a diaper change and stuffed them into the crevices of his fur. The next time Oryn’s poop threatened to drench him, the socks absorbed the onslaught and saved Mr. Bunny from yet another soggy fate. That fate being stuffed into the metal spinning device by the tall people and left to practically drown.

But as the weeks passed, Mr. Bunny began to realize that maybe, just maybe, life with Oryn wasn’t so terrible after all. Sure, the poop was relentless, and the sleep deprivation was real, but there was something magical about watching this tiny human grow and learn.

One evening, as Mr. Bunny lay beside Oryn in the crib, he felt a tiny hand reach out and grasp his furry neck. The baby’s grip was surprisingly strong, and as he was being choked, Mr. Bunny could feel the love and trust radiating from this small gesture. It was in that moment that he knew his purpose in life was greater than just evading drool and poop; it was to be a loyal companion and friend to Oryn.

As the years passed, Mr. Bunny and Oryn embarked on countless adventures together. The baby massages eventually subsided, and the stuffed bunny’s fur regained its former fluffiness. And though his life had been full of challenges, Mr. Bunny knew that he wouldn’t trade a single soggy, sleepless night for anything in the world.

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